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How Jensen’s kiss realigned Jared’s universe
Author: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cillab42
Title: How Jensen’s kiss realigned Jared’s universe
Pairing/Character: Jensen/Jared, Jared/OMC, Sheri Padalecki, Gerald Padalecki
Summary: Jared has been seeing Jensen's friend Tyler for almost two years, and the day that Jared was going to come out to his parents and the world, Jensen kissed him and suddenly Tyler didn't matter any more.
Rating:Mature
Warnings: schmoop
Disclaimer: I don't not own Jensen or Jared or the likeness of anyone mentioned in this story.
AO3
Link to art here
A/N: I didn't think that writing a non-au story would be that hard, but this was a challenge for me. Here I am three drafts later with my head bowed to those who write it so effortlessly. I'd like to thank those who helped along the way starting withaelia1980 for running the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
j2noauchallenge. Also a huge thanks to forhimxx for the amazing art because it gets better each time. And last but most definately not least, for her amazing skills as a beta,vunadiwai. All mistakes are my own.
Jared and Tyler Gregg, his boyfriend of almost two years, had discussed this. How best to handle telling the Padaleckis that their son Jared was gay and that he was going public with that information. Tyler had wanted to be there with him when he broke the news, to show them a solid front. However, Jared couldn’t agree to that, even though Tyler had met the Padaleckis before and they had seemed to like him. He didn’t want his parents to feel as though they’d been ambushed. The pair of them showing up like that may have that effect and produce a negative reaction. There was also the chance that, even if they accepted him being gay, it might result in his parents not liking Tyler just because of the way they broke the news to them.
Thank God, that he hadn’t requested that they make a special trip to visit him. Had he done that, his mother would have suspected that something was amiss. This trip to Vancouver had been planned about three, maybe four months ago. It coincided with a school holiday, giving his mother the freedom to travel without using her vacation time. What Jared did do though, was instead of eating from craft services, he took them to a nice restaurant. That way he could have at least one drink to calm his nerves before he broke the news to them. Of course, another reason he took them off the set was because Tyler worked on the set in production and being off the set would prevent his boyfriend from ‘accidently’ being in the area while Jared talked to his parents.
In the end, Jared needed three drinks. He was seriously considering a fourth to calm the rapidly growing swarm of butterflies making him feel sick in his stomach, but he settled down after a text from his best friend Jensen telling him to relax. Jared and Jensen had discussed the fact that Jared was going to come out publically, and Jensen wasn’t gung ho about Jared doing this, but convinced Jared to at least tell his family first. Besides, he didn’t want to return to the set half drunk. After reading the reassuring words in the text, Jared took a deep breath and broke the news to his parents.
“So...so you’re telling us that you’re gay?” Sherri Padalecki asked her middle child, as the shock that was evident in her voice also sent a visible shudder through her body.
“Yes, Mama. I am telling you that I’m gay, that I like boys. But more importantly, I’m telling you that I’m in love,” Jared softly answered her.
Jared took in the surprise that was evident on his mother’s face and was a little astonished himself, because he honestly thought that even though his dad was sometimes oblivious to things concerning him and his siblings, his mom wasn’t. Even though he was nervous about telling her this, a part of him suspected that she already knew. Apparently, he was wrong. Hmm, perhaps he needed that fourth drink after all.
He knew that when he invited his parents to meet him for lunch that this was not what they had expected to hear, that he was going to go public with a relationship with a man. But they had to know. He had to tell them first because there was no way he was going to let his publicist take that final step without Jared telling his family first. He remembered when Lance Bass and more recently, Neil Patrick Harris outed themselves. They were still able keep their careers, but Jared had never understood taking that kind of gamble with your career. The understanding of what these men were trying to achieve didn’t come until he met Tyler. When he met the other man over a year ago, he understood the need to come out and announce to the world that he was happy and in love.
The irony of the situation was that people had been speculating for years about Jared and his Supernatural co-star Jensen Ackles. From the day the show started getting a little attention. But they had only ever been friends and not the least bit attracted to one another. Well, at least Jensen wasn’t attracted to Jared. From the moment he met Jensen, Jared had found it hard not to bend over the first available flat surface and let the green-eyed man have his way with him. However, that was before Tyler.
“Mama? Daddy? Say something, please,” Jared begged when neither of his parents said anything further. His voice cracked like a fourteen-year-old going through puberty.
Gerald Padalecki put his steak-laden fork back on his plate, cleared his throat and stared at his son. Sherri wiped away an imaginary tear before taking a deep breath and tilting her head back to keep the real ones from rolling down her cheeks and ruining her makeup.
“Jared, son, I know that you’re an adult and are old enough to make up your own mind, but perhaps this is just your being curious later in life,” Gerald reasoned. “You have to think about how an announcement like that could harm your career. Your coming out could also affect Jensen by association. Did you think about that?”
The laughter that was threatening to escape at the mention of Jensen would not be good, so Jared fought to keep it in. He wondered what their reactions would be if they knew that their perfect Jensen loved men just as much as he did. Jensen was such a private person, that Jared knew that the older man wouldn’t go public because he didn’t think whom he loved was anyone’s business.
“Yes Jared,” Sherri chimed in her agreement, “just because you’re experiencing something that is new and... exciting for you, that is no reason to announce it to the whole world when two or three months down the road, you’ll have changed your mind.”
Jared wanted to scream his frustration, to let his parents know that these feelings towards men were not even remotely new, and even the fact that he had acted on these feelings wasn’t new. But sharing those feelings with the world? Well that was new. He’d never felt like who he loved was anyone’s business but his own, and he had never felt the need to announce it to the world, until he met Tyler. Tyler had wanted to stop hiding a couple of months into their relationship after attending one of their conventions. He had wanted the fangirls to know that it was Jared and Tyler, not Jared and Jensen.
Jared had understood where Tyler was coming from because he’d also wanted to share the things with his lover that his straight friends shared with theirs. He wanted to be able to stop treating him as though he was a dirty secret. Jared knew that each time he’d had to introduce Tyler as his friend he had caused the man to feel that way. Once in the middle of an argument Tyler told him that if he were Jensen he wouldn’t hide his feelings. During the entire argument, Jared remembered thinking that Tyler failed to understand one simple thing, which was that if he were Jensen, then they wouldn’t have had that stupid argument.
There was not an easy way to tell them, so he said, “I’ve been seeing him for almost two years, Mom, and I’d really like for you guys to meet him. Well, I want you to meet him as my boyfriend and not just my friend.”
The reactive gasps from his parents made him more than a little angry. He could not believe that they would think that he was so capricious that he would risk losing everything that was important to him over sexual curiosity. They of all people should know that just because he was so childlike at times it didn’t mean that he didn’t have a serious side.
“Why now Jared?” His father asked.
Jared smiled and answered, “Because he and I will have the freedom of being able to refer to each other as what we are to each other, boyfriends and not just friends. I’ll be able to hold his hand and not worry about if we were seen or if it will be leaked out to the press. I want to know how it will feel to be loving towards him in public without censure. I want what other people have.”
Shaking her head in disbelief, Sherri began. “Jared, I don’t know if I can...”
“Mama, I’ve been hiding this part of me for so long, since I was in high school in fact. Before it didn’t matter, but now I have someone in my life that I love and he loves me back and I don’t want to hide anymore, so please don’t make me choose.” Jared begged.
“Son are you saying that you would choose someone who has been in your life for such a short period of time over your family?” Gerald asked outraged. “Tomorrow he, he could end this, this thing between you.”
“You’re right Dad, he could. I could go home and he could have all of his things he keeps at my place packed and ready to leave me. However, even if he does that, I’ll still be gay. You need to understand that even if he is gone I still refuse to hide who I am any longer,” he looked at him with tears in his eyes, “and even more importantly, I won’t.”
Jared waited on pins and needles for a response from his parents, because the response of Jared we love you no matter what that he’d hoped for and his best friend Jensen had assured him they would give him was seeming more and more unlikely. It had been stupid to think that just because Jensen’s uber religious parents didn’t have a problem with their son being gay that his parents would react in the same manner and give him their approval.
“Two years huh?” his father asked again. Jared could see that he was trying to pinpoint in his mind the moment his son turned gay and who the person was despite the fact that Jared had told him he’d known he was gay longer than the past couple of years was. “Wasn’t that around the time we all helped Jensen move in?”
“Yes sir, it was,” he answered politely and left it at that, surely his father wasn’t entertaining the thought that his boyfriend was Jensen. He’d met Tyler for the first time the day he helped Jensen move into Jared’s house. Jensen’s roommate had suddenly left town leaving his friend homeless. Jared had been immediately smitten with the other man and once he learned that Tyler and Jensen were just friends, he’d set out to learn all he could about the other man.
Sherri Padalecki had watched the exchange between her husband and her son before she reached up, pulled Gerald’s ear down to her mouth, and whispered something to him. Jared couldn’t hear it, but knew that the way his parents were nodding their heads as she spoke that they had come to some kind of decision.
“Alright,” Gerald addressed Jared when Sherri stopped talking, “we’ll meet him, but that’s all that we can promise you right now Jared. Son, you have to know that this is not what we wanted for you, so we need time to adjust.”
“Okay,” Jared softly agreed. What other choice did he have except to wait and see if his parents would continue to love him? After their announcement, the rest of lunch was spent in silence, with only the sounds of the utensils and bits of conversations from nearby tables breaking the uneasy silence.
Jared had hurried to choke down the rest of his lunch so that he could say goodbye to his parents but it wasn’t until he had swallowed his last bite that he remembered that they were coming to spend the rest of the afternoon visiting him on the set. What an awkward afternoon this promised to be.
If Jared thought that lunch was uncomfortable, the ride back to the set was much worse. While it only took fifteen minutes to get back to the studio, the distance between the three people in the back seat made it feel as though it took three times as long. A couple of times Clif the driver caught Jared’s eye as though to ask if everything was all right because Gerald and Sherri Padalecki were normally just as talkative as he was. Instead of giving Clif an answer, Jared just shrugged his shoulders and lied by indicating to the older man that he didn’t know what was wrong.
Even though Tyler worked on the set, he’d only met the Padaleckis a handful of times. Jared didn’t want this crucial meeting to take place on set in front of curious eyes, so he texted Jensen and asked him to keep his parents entertained while he filmed his scenes and thankfully Jensen agreed. Tyler was part of the production team that was setting up for Jared’s shoot so thank God he didn’t have to worry about the man going to see his parents while he was filming.
When Jensen stepped into the trailer his parent’s mood changed immediately, and they were once again smiling genuine smiles, not the fake ones that they’d given Clif and other crewmembers that they’d passed along the way since Jared’s confession. He sat quietly and watched as his parents laughed and joked with Jensen, and eventually asked about his family, who Jensen was dating and was it serious. They loved the older man so much that it was almost as though he was their third son.
From the moment they first met, and really right up until the time he’d fallen in love with Tyler, Jared had had the biggest crush on Jensen but nothing had ever come of it. Even though he didn’t ever seem to be seriously dating anyone, Jensen had never shown the slightest bit of interest in him. Jensen’s attitude towards Jared had changed though, once Jared started dating Tyler and Jared noticed that he had become distant. He suspected that Jensen had wanted Tyler for himself and there had been times that he’d felt like confronting Jensen and asking if he was jealous. But he was scared of the answer. He was terrified the answer would be yes, and that he was angry that Jared had gotten to the man first.
He knew that Tyler was jealous of Jensen and had vocalized it several times in the past. It seemed that nothing he did could convince the other man that there was nothing there. It could be that Tyler knew how Jared felt about his friend. Although he was madly in love with Tyler (he was), there were times when Jensen smiled at him that caused his heart to skip a beat, and his breath to catch in his throat.
For once, he was glad that the pages that he was filming were for a brooding and moody Sam, because after the lunch with his parents, most of it wasn’t acting but rather it was Jared reacting to his parents’ attitude towards his announcement. Once he finished filming his scene, and he was being driven back to the studio from location, Jared texted Jensen to let him know he was back and if he wanted to leave, then he could. He smiled when he received Jensen’s text telling him that he would wait and they could all ride home together.
Jared smiled when he saw Jensen step out of the trailer and stand outside as though he was waiting on him. He took in the perfection that was Jensen before the older man noticed him. Jared thought to himself that it wasn’t fair that Jensen became more attractive the older he got.
“Jensen,” he asked once he noticed the look of worry on the older man’s face “is everything okay?”
“Yeah, man,” Jensen said while he looked around nervously. Once Jared was close enough Jensen pulled him between the trailers and out of view from anyone passing by. “It’s just your parents told me about your plans...with Tyler, that you were going to come out. For him.”
Jared smiled at Jensen’s words because if his parents were talking to Jensen about his plans then perhaps this was good news, that they were going to be able to accept his being gay and not disown him as he’d feared. Jared was so busy enjoying the thought of his parents accepting him that he was totally unprepared when Jensen pushed him up against the wall of the trailer and began kissing him.
It never occurred to him to resist Jensen, to fight against those insistent full lips, because part of him still wanted Jensen. Besides, he finally got the answer to the question of whether or not Jensen’s lips were as soft as they looked. They weren’t, they were so much softer than he ever imagined and they felt so fucking good as they slid across his.
At first, because he initiated the kiss, Jensen was in control, but once he got his bearings and his mind caught up to the fact that he was kissing Jensen Ackles, Jared took over and began to plunder the mouth beneath his. He took Jensen’s head between his hands, held the man in place, and began to nip at Jensen’s full lower lip, torturing it for his pleasure.
Jensen tasted like coffee and sin. While Jared could take or leave the coffee, God help him but he wanted to wallow in the sin. So he did. Forgetting that his parents were just a few feet away and that his boyfriend was somewhere on set, Jared released Jensen’s head, slid his large hands down Jensen’s body, grabbed Jensen’s slim hips, pulled the older man closer to him and licked his lips as he begged for entrance. With a heartfelt sigh Jensen parted them and allowed Jared’s tongue admittance.
Once Jared had access to that lush mouth he fused his mouth to Jensen’s and ground his dick against his friend’s hip. At first, he moved slowly as he envisioned himself buried inside that perfect ass, and he then began to move faster as he pretended that Jensen was able to be as vocal as he wanted, that Jared didn’t have to swallow those delicious sounds the man was making, so they wouldn’t draw attention to themselves. He moved until he felt his balls draw up and he was about to come in Sam’s pants when he heard his name called. He began to move faster as he moaned into Jensen’s mouth in return.
“Jared!” Gerald Padalecki called out to get his son’s attention. Both men let out a groan in frustration at the interruption, and Jared realized his father was standing at the entrance to the gap between the trailers.
Jared felt like crying and from the grumbling coming from Jensen, he felt the same. He rested his forehead on Jensen’s to catch his breath and to calm himself before he faced his father. As he stood there, his mind was working overtime as he tried to figure out how to tell his parents that it was Tyler that he was going to introduce as the man he was willing to risk his future on, not the man they’d caught him dry fucking between the trailers.
“Why didn’t you tell us it was Jensen you were in love with,” Sherri screeched happily as she came up behind her husband, “you know how much we love him.”
“Son,” Gerald smiled shaking his head, “even though you told us you were involved with someone, we were worried about the lifestyle as well as the man you were with, but now that we know it’s Jensen, we couldn’t be happier.”
Jared looked at Jensen and mouthed I’m sorry, apologizing to the older man for having been put in this position. This was not the time for him to point out the fact that if Jensen hadn’t assaulted him with those lips of his, that they wouldn’t be in this position. Knowing that he was going to pay for this later, Jared entwined his fingers into Jensen’s, turned to face his parents, and lied. “Mom, Dad,” he said as he drew in a deep breath, “I’d like for you to meet my boyfriend Jensen Ackles.”
As his parents beamed at them both, Jared knew that once he was alone his first priority was to contact Tyler and explain to him what was going on. The hardest part was going to be explaining why he allowed Jensen to kiss him without punching him the fuck out for being so aggressive, or at least pushing him away. Jared became uneasy about the fact that he’d have to wait until he cleaned up this mess before he would be able to introduce Tyler properly to his mother and father. Hopefully when he explained his actions later they would understand and maybe all of them would laugh about the situation. That scenario was beginning to seem like a good one, but like everything else that day, that plan went all to hell when he heard a loud gasp to his left. He looked past his parents and saw the stunned look on his boyfriend Tyler’s face. Yeah, this was not going to end well.
The ride from the studio was much more animated than the ride there had been. While Jensen laughed and talked with the elder Padaleckis as though everything was normal, Jared sat in the corner wondering what the hell had just happened. How did he go from his parents being not sure if they could accept the choices he’d made in his life, to them being okay with those same choices because of the man that they believed him to be involved with? What was going to happen when he told them the truth and introduced them to his real boyfriend? Would they take the time to get to know him, to understand why Jared loved him so much? Right now, he really should be more worried about if he still had a boyfriend after this afternoon’s debacle but his mind kept betraying him. All he could think of was the taste of Jensen still on his lips.
Also, what the fuck was up with Jensen? All of these years Jared had been in love with the man and wore his heart on his goddamned sleeve and nothing had come of it. But the moment he was going to go public with Tyler, to profess his love for the man, suddenly Jensen loves him? What the hell? It’s as though the universe had conspired to fuck him with a very big dick and no lube.
Once at home, the four of them sat around and talked and his parents jokingly welcomed Jensen to the family. To Jared’s dismay, they called his siblings and told them that he and Jensen were dating. He knew that he had to put an end to this before the pair of them called People magazine and made the announcement themselves.
“What the fuck, Jensen?” Jared asked his friend once his parents had turned in for the night and they were finally alone. “Why did you let them think that we were in a relationship and why the hell did you kiss me like that?”
“Hey don’t place all of the blame on me Jared. I was just following your lead. When they saw us kissing you could have easily told them at any point that we weren’t involved, but you were so worried about how kissing me made you look to your parents that you didn’t and that’s on you.”
Jared rubbed his hands through his hair and blew a puff of air out in frustration because he knew that Jensen was right. He should have corrected his parents immediately and then they wouldn’t be in this mess. Just when he was going to say as much, he realized that Jensen had only answered part of his question, so he asked again, “why’d you kiss me Jensen?”
“It’s simple really Jared,” Jensen confessed as he looked into the big man’s eyes with a heated glare, “I wanted to know what you tasted like, how your lips felt under mine, and I also wanted you to find out what you missed out on when you chose him over me.”
“Over you? When were you ever a choice for me?” Jared whined.
The doorbell rang and Jensen sadly shook his head and turned towards the stairs because they both knew who was at the door. Tyler.
“Answer the door Jared; we’ll talk about this later because obviously there are things we need to discuss and I certainly don’t want to witness you begging Tyler for forgiveness when I really don’t want him to forgive you.”
Suddenly all of those cartoons where someone’s head exploded made sense. Jared really wanted to discuss the reasons behind that glorious kiss with Jensen more than he wanted to explain the kiss to Tyler. Apparently, his feelings for Jensen were closer to the surface than he thought, because he was ready to ditch the boyfriend that he had been prepared to come out for, all because of one kiss from the man.
Tyler rushed past Jared when he opened the door. Even though Jared had been prepared for the anger, it irritated him a little at the dramatic display his boyfriend was putting on. Jared was the actor in this relationship, right.
“Something you want to tell me Jared,” Tyler demanded as he stood in the middle of the room tapping his foot with his arms folded and his blue eyes shooting daggers at Jared.
Looking at the angry man, Jared realized that he just wanted to get this over with and that didn’t necessarily mean keeping Tyler as his boyfriend. This afternoon he’d been so sure that he would beg and plead to get Tyler to forgive him so that they could follow through with their plans, but then Jared realized something. He realized that those plans, they weren’t his, they were Tyler’s. Tyler had been the one who wanted everyone to know that Jared Padalecki was his boyfriend while Jared was comfortable being said boyfriend. Right now, the only thing that mattered to Jared was the fact that Jensen Ackles was upstairs in bed and Jared didn’t have to fantasize about going to him anymore because Jared knew that he’d be welcomed.
“...Jared.” Tyler finished angrily. “You didn’t hear a word I just said did you?” Jared blushed when Tyler called him out on his inattentiveness.
“Jared,” Tyler softly said, “I’m really surprised that you and I lasted this long. I just wanted to punish Jensen for not loving me and you were the way to accomplish that. But somewhere along the way I ... well it doesn’t matter at this point does it? You love him, and he loves you and I’m just in the way. Have a nice life Jared and take care of him. He’s very special.”
For the second time today, Jared was confused. What the hell just happened here? Tyler was just using him to get to Jensen? Suddenly none of it mattered because there was a chance that Jensen could be his.
Once the door closed behind Tyler, Jared took the stairs two at a time, hurrying to get to Jensen. He would feel guilty if they did anything other than kiss while his parents were down the hall, but he wanted just to be near him. After five years of pining, including the two that he convinced himself that he was in love with someone else, Jared just wanted to touch Jensen because he could.
He went to his room and paced back and forth trying to decide whether or not he should go to Jensen, and when he finally found the courage to walk down the hall to Jensen’s room he found that he was too nervous to knock. He stood there trying to convince himself to knock, the door opened.
Jensen opened the door and smiled at Jared; stepping aside, he said, “Come on in Jared.”
cillab42Title: How Jensen’s kiss realigned Jared’s universe
Pairing/Character: Jensen/Jared, Jared/OMC, Sheri Padalecki, Gerald Padalecki
Summary: Jared has been seeing Jensen's friend Tyler for almost two years, and the day that Jared was going to come out to his parents and the world, Jensen kissed him and suddenly Tyler didn't matter any more.
Rating:Mature
Warnings: schmoop
Disclaimer: I don't not own Jensen or Jared or the likeness of anyone mentioned in this story.
AO3
Link to art here
A/N: I didn't think that writing a non-au story would be that hard, but this was a challenge for me. Here I am three drafts later with my head bowed to those who write it so effortlessly. I'd like to thank those who helped along the way starting with
aelia1980 for running the j2noauchallenge. Also a huge thanks to forhimxx for the amazing art because it gets better each time. And last but most definately not least, for her amazing skills as a beta,vunadiwai. All mistakes are my own. Jared and Tyler Gregg, his boyfriend of almost two years, had discussed this. How best to handle telling the Padaleckis that their son Jared was gay and that he was going public with that information. Tyler had wanted to be there with him when he broke the news, to show them a solid front. However, Jared couldn’t agree to that, even though Tyler had met the Padaleckis before and they had seemed to like him. He didn’t want his parents to feel as though they’d been ambushed. The pair of them showing up like that may have that effect and produce a negative reaction. There was also the chance that, even if they accepted him being gay, it might result in his parents not liking Tyler just because of the way they broke the news to them.
Thank God, that he hadn’t requested that they make a special trip to visit him. Had he done that, his mother would have suspected that something was amiss. This trip to Vancouver had been planned about three, maybe four months ago. It coincided with a school holiday, giving his mother the freedom to travel without using her vacation time. What Jared did do though, was instead of eating from craft services, he took them to a nice restaurant. That way he could have at least one drink to calm his nerves before he broke the news to them. Of course, another reason he took them off the set was because Tyler worked on the set in production and being off the set would prevent his boyfriend from ‘accidently’ being in the area while Jared talked to his parents.
In the end, Jared needed three drinks. He was seriously considering a fourth to calm the rapidly growing swarm of butterflies making him feel sick in his stomach, but he settled down after a text from his best friend Jensen telling him to relax. Jared and Jensen had discussed the fact that Jared was going to come out publically, and Jensen wasn’t gung ho about Jared doing this, but convinced Jared to at least tell his family first. Besides, he didn’t want to return to the set half drunk. After reading the reassuring words in the text, Jared took a deep breath and broke the news to his parents.
“So...so you’re telling us that you’re gay?” Sherri Padalecki asked her middle child, as the shock that was evident in her voice also sent a visible shudder through her body.
“Yes, Mama. I am telling you that I’m gay, that I like boys. But more importantly, I’m telling you that I’m in love,” Jared softly answered her.
Jared took in the surprise that was evident on his mother’s face and was a little astonished himself, because he honestly thought that even though his dad was sometimes oblivious to things concerning him and his siblings, his mom wasn’t. Even though he was nervous about telling her this, a part of him suspected that she already knew. Apparently, he was wrong. Hmm, perhaps he needed that fourth drink after all.
He knew that when he invited his parents to meet him for lunch that this was not what they had expected to hear, that he was going to go public with a relationship with a man. But they had to know. He had to tell them first because there was no way he was going to let his publicist take that final step without Jared telling his family first. He remembered when Lance Bass and more recently, Neil Patrick Harris outed themselves. They were still able keep their careers, but Jared had never understood taking that kind of gamble with your career. The understanding of what these men were trying to achieve didn’t come until he met Tyler. When he met the other man over a year ago, he understood the need to come out and announce to the world that he was happy and in love.
The irony of the situation was that people had been speculating for years about Jared and his Supernatural co-star Jensen Ackles. From the day the show started getting a little attention. But they had only ever been friends and not the least bit attracted to one another. Well, at least Jensen wasn’t attracted to Jared. From the moment he met Jensen, Jared had found it hard not to bend over the first available flat surface and let the green-eyed man have his way with him. However, that was before Tyler.
“Mama? Daddy? Say something, please,” Jared begged when neither of his parents said anything further. His voice cracked like a fourteen-year-old going through puberty.
Gerald Padalecki put his steak-laden fork back on his plate, cleared his throat and stared at his son. Sherri wiped away an imaginary tear before taking a deep breath and tilting her head back to keep the real ones from rolling down her cheeks and ruining her makeup.
“Jared, son, I know that you’re an adult and are old enough to make up your own mind, but perhaps this is just your being curious later in life,” Gerald reasoned. “You have to think about how an announcement like that could harm your career. Your coming out could also affect Jensen by association. Did you think about that?”
The laughter that was threatening to escape at the mention of Jensen would not be good, so Jared fought to keep it in. He wondered what their reactions would be if they knew that their perfect Jensen loved men just as much as he did. Jensen was such a private person, that Jared knew that the older man wouldn’t go public because he didn’t think whom he loved was anyone’s business.
“Yes Jared,” Sherri chimed in her agreement, “just because you’re experiencing something that is new and... exciting for you, that is no reason to announce it to the whole world when two or three months down the road, you’ll have changed your mind.”
Jared wanted to scream his frustration, to let his parents know that these feelings towards men were not even remotely new, and even the fact that he had acted on these feelings wasn’t new. But sharing those feelings with the world? Well that was new. He’d never felt like who he loved was anyone’s business but his own, and he had never felt the need to announce it to the world, until he met Tyler. Tyler had wanted to stop hiding a couple of months into their relationship after attending one of their conventions. He had wanted the fangirls to know that it was Jared and Tyler, not Jared and Jensen.
Jared had understood where Tyler was coming from because he’d also wanted to share the things with his lover that his straight friends shared with theirs. He wanted to be able to stop treating him as though he was a dirty secret. Jared knew that each time he’d had to introduce Tyler as his friend he had caused the man to feel that way. Once in the middle of an argument Tyler told him that if he were Jensen he wouldn’t hide his feelings. During the entire argument, Jared remembered thinking that Tyler failed to understand one simple thing, which was that if he were Jensen, then they wouldn’t have had that stupid argument.
There was not an easy way to tell them, so he said, “I’ve been seeing him for almost two years, Mom, and I’d really like for you guys to meet him. Well, I want you to meet him as my boyfriend and not just my friend.”
The reactive gasps from his parents made him more than a little angry. He could not believe that they would think that he was so capricious that he would risk losing everything that was important to him over sexual curiosity. They of all people should know that just because he was so childlike at times it didn’t mean that he didn’t have a serious side.
“Why now Jared?” His father asked.
Jared smiled and answered, “Because he and I will have the freedom of being able to refer to each other as what we are to each other, boyfriends and not just friends. I’ll be able to hold his hand and not worry about if we were seen or if it will be leaked out to the press. I want to know how it will feel to be loving towards him in public without censure. I want what other people have.”
Shaking her head in disbelief, Sherri began. “Jared, I don’t know if I can...”
“Mama, I’ve been hiding this part of me for so long, since I was in high school in fact. Before it didn’t matter, but now I have someone in my life that I love and he loves me back and I don’t want to hide anymore, so please don’t make me choose.” Jared begged.
“Son are you saying that you would choose someone who has been in your life for such a short period of time over your family?” Gerald asked outraged. “Tomorrow he, he could end this, this thing between you.”
“You’re right Dad, he could. I could go home and he could have all of his things he keeps at my place packed and ready to leave me. However, even if he does that, I’ll still be gay. You need to understand that even if he is gone I still refuse to hide who I am any longer,” he looked at him with tears in his eyes, “and even more importantly, I won’t.”
Jared waited on pins and needles for a response from his parents, because the response of Jared we love you no matter what that he’d hoped for and his best friend Jensen had assured him they would give him was seeming more and more unlikely. It had been stupid to think that just because Jensen’s uber religious parents didn’t have a problem with their son being gay that his parents would react in the same manner and give him their approval.
“Two years huh?” his father asked again. Jared could see that he was trying to pinpoint in his mind the moment his son turned gay and who the person was despite the fact that Jared had told him he’d known he was gay longer than the past couple of years was. “Wasn’t that around the time we all helped Jensen move in?”
“Yes sir, it was,” he answered politely and left it at that, surely his father wasn’t entertaining the thought that his boyfriend was Jensen. He’d met Tyler for the first time the day he helped Jensen move into Jared’s house. Jensen’s roommate had suddenly left town leaving his friend homeless. Jared had been immediately smitten with the other man and once he learned that Tyler and Jensen were just friends, he’d set out to learn all he could about the other man.
Sherri Padalecki had watched the exchange between her husband and her son before she reached up, pulled Gerald’s ear down to her mouth, and whispered something to him. Jared couldn’t hear it, but knew that the way his parents were nodding their heads as she spoke that they had come to some kind of decision.
“Alright,” Gerald addressed Jared when Sherri stopped talking, “we’ll meet him, but that’s all that we can promise you right now Jared. Son, you have to know that this is not what we wanted for you, so we need time to adjust.”
“Okay,” Jared softly agreed. What other choice did he have except to wait and see if his parents would continue to love him? After their announcement, the rest of lunch was spent in silence, with only the sounds of the utensils and bits of conversations from nearby tables breaking the uneasy silence.
Jared had hurried to choke down the rest of his lunch so that he could say goodbye to his parents but it wasn’t until he had swallowed his last bite that he remembered that they were coming to spend the rest of the afternoon visiting him on the set. What an awkward afternoon this promised to be.
If Jared thought that lunch was uncomfortable, the ride back to the set was much worse. While it only took fifteen minutes to get back to the studio, the distance between the three people in the back seat made it feel as though it took three times as long. A couple of times Clif the driver caught Jared’s eye as though to ask if everything was all right because Gerald and Sherri Padalecki were normally just as talkative as he was. Instead of giving Clif an answer, Jared just shrugged his shoulders and lied by indicating to the older man that he didn’t know what was wrong.
Even though Tyler worked on the set, he’d only met the Padaleckis a handful of times. Jared didn’t want this crucial meeting to take place on set in front of curious eyes, so he texted Jensen and asked him to keep his parents entertained while he filmed his scenes and thankfully Jensen agreed. Tyler was part of the production team that was setting up for Jared’s shoot so thank God he didn’t have to worry about the man going to see his parents while he was filming.
When Jensen stepped into the trailer his parent’s mood changed immediately, and they were once again smiling genuine smiles, not the fake ones that they’d given Clif and other crewmembers that they’d passed along the way since Jared’s confession. He sat quietly and watched as his parents laughed and joked with Jensen, and eventually asked about his family, who Jensen was dating and was it serious. They loved the older man so much that it was almost as though he was their third son.
From the moment they first met, and really right up until the time he’d fallen in love with Tyler, Jared had had the biggest crush on Jensen but nothing had ever come of it. Even though he didn’t ever seem to be seriously dating anyone, Jensen had never shown the slightest bit of interest in him. Jensen’s attitude towards Jared had changed though, once Jared started dating Tyler and Jared noticed that he had become distant. He suspected that Jensen had wanted Tyler for himself and there had been times that he’d felt like confronting Jensen and asking if he was jealous. But he was scared of the answer. He was terrified the answer would be yes, and that he was angry that Jared had gotten to the man first.
He knew that Tyler was jealous of Jensen and had vocalized it several times in the past. It seemed that nothing he did could convince the other man that there was nothing there. It could be that Tyler knew how Jared felt about his friend. Although he was madly in love with Tyler (he was), there were times when Jensen smiled at him that caused his heart to skip a beat, and his breath to catch in his throat.
For once, he was glad that the pages that he was filming were for a brooding and moody Sam, because after the lunch with his parents, most of it wasn’t acting but rather it was Jared reacting to his parents’ attitude towards his announcement. Once he finished filming his scene, and he was being driven back to the studio from location, Jared texted Jensen to let him know he was back and if he wanted to leave, then he could. He smiled when he received Jensen’s text telling him that he would wait and they could all ride home together.
Jared smiled when he saw Jensen step out of the trailer and stand outside as though he was waiting on him. He took in the perfection that was Jensen before the older man noticed him. Jared thought to himself that it wasn’t fair that Jensen became more attractive the older he got.
“Jensen,” he asked once he noticed the look of worry on the older man’s face “is everything okay?”
“Yeah, man,” Jensen said while he looked around nervously. Once Jared was close enough Jensen pulled him between the trailers and out of view from anyone passing by. “It’s just your parents told me about your plans...with Tyler, that you were going to come out. For him.”
Jared smiled at Jensen’s words because if his parents were talking to Jensen about his plans then perhaps this was good news, that they were going to be able to accept his being gay and not disown him as he’d feared. Jared was so busy enjoying the thought of his parents accepting him that he was totally unprepared when Jensen pushed him up against the wall of the trailer and began kissing him.
It never occurred to him to resist Jensen, to fight against those insistent full lips, because part of him still wanted Jensen. Besides, he finally got the answer to the question of whether or not Jensen’s lips were as soft as they looked. They weren’t, they were so much softer than he ever imagined and they felt so fucking good as they slid across his.
At first, because he initiated the kiss, Jensen was in control, but once he got his bearings and his mind caught up to the fact that he was kissing Jensen Ackles, Jared took over and began to plunder the mouth beneath his. He took Jensen’s head between his hands, held the man in place, and began to nip at Jensen’s full lower lip, torturing it for his pleasure.
Jensen tasted like coffee and sin. While Jared could take or leave the coffee, God help him but he wanted to wallow in the sin. So he did. Forgetting that his parents were just a few feet away and that his boyfriend was somewhere on set, Jared released Jensen’s head, slid his large hands down Jensen’s body, grabbed Jensen’s slim hips, pulled the older man closer to him and licked his lips as he begged for entrance. With a heartfelt sigh Jensen parted them and allowed Jared’s tongue admittance.
Once Jared had access to that lush mouth he fused his mouth to Jensen’s and ground his dick against his friend’s hip. At first, he moved slowly as he envisioned himself buried inside that perfect ass, and he then began to move faster as he pretended that Jensen was able to be as vocal as he wanted, that Jared didn’t have to swallow those delicious sounds the man was making, so they wouldn’t draw attention to themselves. He moved until he felt his balls draw up and he was about to come in Sam’s pants when he heard his name called. He began to move faster as he moaned into Jensen’s mouth in return.
“Jared!” Gerald Padalecki called out to get his son’s attention. Both men let out a groan in frustration at the interruption, and Jared realized his father was standing at the entrance to the gap between the trailers.
Jared felt like crying and from the grumbling coming from Jensen, he felt the same. He rested his forehead on Jensen’s to catch his breath and to calm himself before he faced his father. As he stood there, his mind was working overtime as he tried to figure out how to tell his parents that it was Tyler that he was going to introduce as the man he was willing to risk his future on, not the man they’d caught him dry fucking between the trailers.
“Why didn’t you tell us it was Jensen you were in love with,” Sherri screeched happily as she came up behind her husband, “you know how much we love him.”
“Son,” Gerald smiled shaking his head, “even though you told us you were involved with someone, we were worried about the lifestyle as well as the man you were with, but now that we know it’s Jensen, we couldn’t be happier.”
Jared looked at Jensen and mouthed I’m sorry, apologizing to the older man for having been put in this position. This was not the time for him to point out the fact that if Jensen hadn’t assaulted him with those lips of his, that they wouldn’t be in this position. Knowing that he was going to pay for this later, Jared entwined his fingers into Jensen’s, turned to face his parents, and lied. “Mom, Dad,” he said as he drew in a deep breath, “I’d like for you to meet my boyfriend Jensen Ackles.”
As his parents beamed at them both, Jared knew that once he was alone his first priority was to contact Tyler and explain to him what was going on. The hardest part was going to be explaining why he allowed Jensen to kiss him without punching him the fuck out for being so aggressive, or at least pushing him away. Jared became uneasy about the fact that he’d have to wait until he cleaned up this mess before he would be able to introduce Tyler properly to his mother and father. Hopefully when he explained his actions later they would understand and maybe all of them would laugh about the situation. That scenario was beginning to seem like a good one, but like everything else that day, that plan went all to hell when he heard a loud gasp to his left. He looked past his parents and saw the stunned look on his boyfriend Tyler’s face. Yeah, this was not going to end well.
The ride from the studio was much more animated than the ride there had been. While Jensen laughed and talked with the elder Padaleckis as though everything was normal, Jared sat in the corner wondering what the hell had just happened. How did he go from his parents being not sure if they could accept the choices he’d made in his life, to them being okay with those same choices because of the man that they believed him to be involved with? What was going to happen when he told them the truth and introduced them to his real boyfriend? Would they take the time to get to know him, to understand why Jared loved him so much? Right now, he really should be more worried about if he still had a boyfriend after this afternoon’s debacle but his mind kept betraying him. All he could think of was the taste of Jensen still on his lips.
Also, what the fuck was up with Jensen? All of these years Jared had been in love with the man and wore his heart on his goddamned sleeve and nothing had come of it. But the moment he was going to go public with Tyler, to profess his love for the man, suddenly Jensen loves him? What the hell? It’s as though the universe had conspired to fuck him with a very big dick and no lube.
Once at home, the four of them sat around and talked and his parents jokingly welcomed Jensen to the family. To Jared’s dismay, they called his siblings and told them that he and Jensen were dating. He knew that he had to put an end to this before the pair of them called People magazine and made the announcement themselves.
“What the fuck, Jensen?” Jared asked his friend once his parents had turned in for the night and they were finally alone. “Why did you let them think that we were in a relationship and why the hell did you kiss me like that?”
“Hey don’t place all of the blame on me Jared. I was just following your lead. When they saw us kissing you could have easily told them at any point that we weren’t involved, but you were so worried about how kissing me made you look to your parents that you didn’t and that’s on you.”
Jared rubbed his hands through his hair and blew a puff of air out in frustration because he knew that Jensen was right. He should have corrected his parents immediately and then they wouldn’t be in this mess. Just when he was going to say as much, he realized that Jensen had only answered part of his question, so he asked again, “why’d you kiss me Jensen?”
“It’s simple really Jared,” Jensen confessed as he looked into the big man’s eyes with a heated glare, “I wanted to know what you tasted like, how your lips felt under mine, and I also wanted you to find out what you missed out on when you chose him over me.”
“Over you? When were you ever a choice for me?” Jared whined.
The doorbell rang and Jensen sadly shook his head and turned towards the stairs because they both knew who was at the door. Tyler.
“Answer the door Jared; we’ll talk about this later because obviously there are things we need to discuss and I certainly don’t want to witness you begging Tyler for forgiveness when I really don’t want him to forgive you.”
Suddenly all of those cartoons where someone’s head exploded made sense. Jared really wanted to discuss the reasons behind that glorious kiss with Jensen more than he wanted to explain the kiss to Tyler. Apparently, his feelings for Jensen were closer to the surface than he thought, because he was ready to ditch the boyfriend that he had been prepared to come out for, all because of one kiss from the man.
Tyler rushed past Jared when he opened the door. Even though Jared had been prepared for the anger, it irritated him a little at the dramatic display his boyfriend was putting on. Jared was the actor in this relationship, right.
“Something you want to tell me Jared,” Tyler demanded as he stood in the middle of the room tapping his foot with his arms folded and his blue eyes shooting daggers at Jared.
Looking at the angry man, Jared realized that he just wanted to get this over with and that didn’t necessarily mean keeping Tyler as his boyfriend. This afternoon he’d been so sure that he would beg and plead to get Tyler to forgive him so that they could follow through with their plans, but then Jared realized something. He realized that those plans, they weren’t his, they were Tyler’s. Tyler had been the one who wanted everyone to know that Jared Padalecki was his boyfriend while Jared was comfortable being said boyfriend. Right now, the only thing that mattered to Jared was the fact that Jensen Ackles was upstairs in bed and Jared didn’t have to fantasize about going to him anymore because Jared knew that he’d be welcomed.
“...Jared.” Tyler finished angrily. “You didn’t hear a word I just said did you?” Jared blushed when Tyler called him out on his inattentiveness.
“Jared,” Tyler softly said, “I’m really surprised that you and I lasted this long. I just wanted to punish Jensen for not loving me and you were the way to accomplish that. But somewhere along the way I ... well it doesn’t matter at this point does it? You love him, and he loves you and I’m just in the way. Have a nice life Jared and take care of him. He’s very special.”
For the second time today, Jared was confused. What the hell just happened here? Tyler was just using him to get to Jensen? Suddenly none of it mattered because there was a chance that Jensen could be his.
Once the door closed behind Tyler, Jared took the stairs two at a time, hurrying to get to Jensen. He would feel guilty if they did anything other than kiss while his parents were down the hall, but he wanted just to be near him. After five years of pining, including the two that he convinced himself that he was in love with someone else, Jared just wanted to touch Jensen because he could.
He went to his room and paced back and forth trying to decide whether or not he should go to Jensen, and when he finally found the courage to walk down the hall to Jensen’s room he found that he was too nervous to knock. He stood there trying to convince himself to knock, the door opened.
Jensen opened the door and smiled at Jared; stepping aside, he said, “Come on in Jared.”