The One worth Suffering for chapter 13

[cillab42]

This case was making Samantha Ferris frustrated. After she and Sheppard had spent hours interviewing Jensen Ackles friends and some of the other patrons at the restaurant, they still had nothing but a gut feeling to go on. Whoever it was knew that Padalecki would be gone for the weekend because there was no way they were going to take on the two of them since they were very large men. She still felt that the culprit was one of the friends, but they could not pinpoint whom.

When they spoke with Aldis, his focus was Danneel and when they spoke with Danneel hers was Chad, and as far as the rest of the men, they were sure they were straight. The only two that set off their radar were Mike and Misha. Mike was suspect because of his temper and Misha was because he was, well Misha.

They had no luck with the texts that Ackles was receiving because they were coming from a disposable cell and the IP address from the email couldn’t be traced. Their only real lead was Morgan, but now he had stopped talking. It seemed that prison life didn’t agree with him because he didn’t like being fucked against his will. The judge Morgan’s attorney had found to listen to this case had been called out of town because of a family emergency and would be gone for a few weeks. Before Morgan lawyered up they stood a chance of getting him to talk and tell them who his accomplice was but now, now, they were running out of time.

Convinced that the answer lay with Jensen’s friends, she called Sheppard because she had an idea that could break the case wide open and she hoped she could get the friends to agree to help.



As Jared and Jensen sat on the now familiar leather sofa of Dr. Beaver, the alarm on Jared’s phone began to chime. When he reached to turn off the alarm was when he noticed the date. This was the last week. The last week that Jensen could safely have an abortion and they could start on trying for their own again. He had already booked the appointment and shifted his schedule so that he, not Chad could take care of Jensen.

While they waited for the doctor, Jared thought that it was funny how he now looked forward to the twice a week visits to Dr. Beavers office. He really did not want to take part in this, but now it was the one thing he looked forward to. Now it was the only time that Jensen touched him, needed him and it felt good.

“Sorry I’m running late,” Dr. Beaver apologized, “I was on a phone call. So how are we today?”

“Great,” both men answered and Jared frowned at Jensen as he rubbed his expanding stomach. He was staring so intently that he didn’t notice Dr. Beaver staring at him.

“Are you still having trouble accepting the baby Jared?” the doctor asked.

“Not after this week,” he admitted.

“What happens this week?” the doctor inquired.

“Yeah Jared what happens this week?” Jensen echoed.

“Jensen, please you know this is the last chance, if you don’t do this we have to keep this baby instead of our own.” Jared pleaded for understanding.


“So I have to kill my baby to give you yours?”

“Jensen I don’t know if I can love this child.” Jared explained. “It will always remind me that I was not there for you, that I let you down by having the surgery. It will always remind me that I was the reason you were hurt because if I were there, then they wouldn’t have been able to hurt you.”

“Then why did you do it Jared? Why did you have the surgery, knowing I wanted a child?” Jensen cried.

“Because I was scared you were going to die Jensen and that is the honest truth. Those stories about Carriers dying scared me and I just wanted to...protect you.”

“You once said that you loved everything about me, well this baby is me Jared. If you can’t then I can’t be with you.” Jensen decided.

Jared sat there dumbfounded. What just happened here? There had never been a time when he could not sway Jensen to see things his way. He looked at his partner and saw the determination in his eyes and he knew that if he didn’t agree to this then there would be no more them.

“Okay Jensen, okay. There’s no way I’m giving you up,” Jared declared. Judging by the way Jensen’s body visibly relaxed, he knew that he could not change his mind. When Jensen leaned over and kissed his cheek in thanks, he almost came in his pants.

“Jensen that was a huge concession from Jared,” Dr. Beaver declared. “Even though he does not believe that he can love this child, he was willing to change his mind for you. My question to you is what are you going to give him in exchange?”

“I. I’m not ready for sex… I can’t.” Jensen stuttered.

“Do you think that all Jared wants from you is sex? That that is your worth to him?” Beaver challenged.

Jared was relieved when the other man turned to him upset at the thought that Jared believed this, “No Jared, I know that is not all you want from me. Please believe that, but…”

“Jensen you cannot have it all,” Dr. Beaver explained. “You want Jared to share this child with you, and part of that starts before it is born. You are sharing that part with Chad and not Jared.”

“Okay,” Jensen mimicked Jared’s earlier answer.
When Jensen said yes Jared felt his body begin to come alive so much that he could not keep his leg still. Jensen was coming home! He was so focused on that thought that he did not hear the rest of what Beaver and Jensen had discussed while he spaced out until he heard the doctor call his name.

“Jared are you with us?” The doctor asked in an amused tone.

“Yes, yes I am.” Jared replied giving a dimpled grin to show his pleasure at the thought of Jensen coming home.

“Jensen has agreed to work on letting you touch him. You can start with something simple as handholding or whatever Jensen is comfortable with.”

When the two men left the doctor’s office Jared wanted to drive straight to Chads and grab Jensen’s belongings and take them home, but Jensen wanted to wait. Chad was not home and he wanted Chad to be there to tell him that Jensen was leaving and not walk in and find him gone.

Once they arrived at Chad’s Jared was eager to pack Jensen’s belongings but he wanted Jensen to take the lead there. They had a little awkward conversation until Jensen suggested they pack his things. He didn’t have that many things there, but it was more than he’d originally brought from home. After they had completed packing, Jensen was tired so Jared convinced him to join him on the sofa and he found that had its own merits. Jensen sat next to him but not as close as he wanted, that did not happen until the tiredness turned to sleepiness and Jensen curled in his legs and rested his head in the crook of Jared’s arm.

Jared sat there and rubbed his fingers through Jensen’s short hair grinning like a loon until he too fell asleep. They shifted until Jensen had his head in Jared’s lap, Jared’s head was thrown over the back of the sofa, and that was how Chad found them two hours later.

Jared jolted awake when Chad entered the house. He stood there looking at the two men on the sofa and the packed bags sitting beside the door. Cocking his head towards the kitchen, he walked through the door, not bothering to see if Jared followed. Once inside the kitchen, Jared noticed the tension in Chad’s body and the anger on the blondes face.

“I see you talked him into going home, so I take it you talked him into the abortion as well,” Chad accused. wants to hear and when you get him home you’ll talk him into changing his mind.”

“Look, I really don’t know what to tell you, Chad, I made a promise to him and I damn well intend to keep it. I know that you’re our friend, but this is between Jensen and me, so you need to back the fuck off,” Jared advised.

“I’ll back off when I know that you aren’t going to kill my…make Jensen kill his baby. He loves you Jared plain and simple, and man, I would kill to have someone love me like that. So what if the baby isn’t yours, Jensen is and if you love him like you say you do, then the baby won’t matter.”

Jared looked at Chad, who knew that he could be so deep or so caring. He knew that they hadn’t been hanging out and doing things the way they used to and hopefully they would soon, because that little diatribe made Jared wonder if Chad had fallen in love.

“No, Chad, Jensen’s going to have the baby and he’s also coming home. I don’t need your approval but I would like to make this less stressful for Jensen.”

“You still have a couple of days to help him change his mind,” Chad alleged.

“If I do that, he has told me in no uncertain terms that we’re through, and I would die before I let that happen,” Jared said.

Chad shook his head in disapproval and alleged, “I really don’t believe you, Jared. You’ve always had a way of talking Jensen into doing whatever you wanted and his wants didn’t matter. I think that you’re telling him what he



The ride home was silent as Jensen fell asleep the moment the car started to move, and when they reached the house, Jared was half tempted to carry Jensen inside but he knew he would never hear the end of it.

As he helped Jensen into the bedroom and stripped him down to his boxers he let his eyes roam over the body he had not seen in months and took in all of the changes including the most obvious one. As he covered him with the duvet he shot a look of longing at the bed and the man in it before he ran out the door because he wanted so badly to crawl in beside him.

Jared tried to make himself comfortable on the sofa, but somehow couldn’t. The entire time Jensen was at Chad’s, he slept there comfortably, but the knowledge that Jensen was down the hall and sleeping in their bed, he knew that sleep was going to be a long time coming for him.

“Jared?” Jensen called out.

Jared snuggled deeper into the sofa pillow as he responded to Jensen’s voice. He finally fell asleep and he immediately began dreaming about the man.

“Jared,” Jensen called again, this time in Jared’s ear as he shook the sleeping man’s shoulder. “Why are you sleeping out here?” he asked when Jared jumped into a sitting position.

He thought he was dreaming but the hand on his shoulder and the voice in his ear told him otherwise. Jensen was home.

“Why are you sleeping out here?” Jensen probed.

“I didn’t think that you would feel comfortable… that you were ready for that yet.” Jared admitted.

“I am not ready for sex yet, but I think I could handle… that I would like you to share the bed with me. That is if you want.” He admitted cautiously.

“Oh I want Jensen, I want.” Jared murmured as he jumped over the back of the sofa and made his way towards Jensen.

“You gonna stare at me all morning?” Jensen asked as he attempted to stifle a yawn.

“Maybe,” Jared answered around a smile. “Go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Then stop starin’ so hard,” Jensen slurred almost back to sleep already.

Jared grinned as Jensen went back to sleep. Last night they started out each of them on opposite sides of the bed, but by morning, they were wrapped around each other like true North’s. He knew it was time to get up and go for his run, but he couldn’t make himself leave the comfort of the bed and the warmth of Jensen’s body. That was his last thought before he was lulled back to sleep himself by the sound of his partners breathing.

When Jared woke later it was to the glorious smell of …bacon and coffee, and he was sure there was going to be some eggs and toast included as well. Not wanting scare Jensen with his eagerness, Jared willed himself to calm down before he entered the kitchen.

“We’ll be there. Thank you.” Jensen spoke into the phone. Jared smiled at the thought that Jensen accepting invitations for them already.

“Morning Jen,” Jared greeted cautiously as he helped himself to a piece of bacon.

“Morning Jare,” Jensen returned. “That was detective Sheppard. He and Ferris want everyone that was present at the restaurant the night of my attack to meet them tomorrow at the steak house. They think that with everyone there someone may trigger a memory in someone else and the two of them may be able to get some new clues.”

Getting as close as he could without actually touching, Jared asked, “Are you going to be okay doing this?”

“I will,” Jensen simply stated. “I just want this to be over, to get our life back.”

When they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant the next day, Chris, Steve and Chad were all standing outside smoking, but as far as Jared could tell there was no conversation going on. Once he and Jensen reached the men, he could see the tension in their bodies and he supposed the cigarettes were supposed to help calm them.

Once inside Jared was told to sit at one of the empty tables while Jensen was to sit in his usual seat in the corner facing the officer who was a stand in for Morgan. Once everyone was seated Ferris and Sheppard begin to speak.

“The only way this is going to work is that we speak one at a time,” Ferris started. “I know you all want to help but if we don’t respect the person talking this won’t work.”

Jared sat there and stared at all of their friends as Ferris and Sheppard instructed everyone and wondered if their beliefs were true, did one of their friends do this to Jensen. It was hard to look at all of the people sitting around that table and say which one would have been capable of hurting him and then hang around as though he had done nothing wrong.

“Okay Mike we will start with you,” Sheppard advised. “We want to first narrow in on about the last thirty minutes or so.”

“Oh, that’s about when Aldis noticed Morgan staring,” Mike volunteered.

“What made you notice him?” Ferris asked Aldis.

“Old dude just kept staring like he wanted to say something, but he never did that’s why I asked about him,” Aldis explained.

Jared watched the exchange of questions and answers attempting to discern how this was going to gather any information. This was the same story they have told and retold repeatedly and nothing helpful had come from it. As he looked at Jensen, he could see that he was tired so he hoped this charade would be over soon.

“… Jensen was waiting for a drink,” Chris stated. Jared missed the first part of the sentence because he was not listening.

“No, it was tea, remember?” Katie volunteered.

“Yeah, uncle creepy left shortly after Chad bought it to Jensen.” Aldis remembered.

“Why did you bring the tea, Chad?” Sheppard asked.

“The server was on the way and so was I so I just grabbed it,” Chad explained as he shrugged his shoulders. “Besides I left a few minutes after that. I was called in to cover a shift.”

“That’s right,” Misha agreed. “You left your phone and I went to the parking lot to give it to you but you were gone, so Jensen took it to give to you later.”

“We checked on that and several people remember seeing you at the hospital that night, but not all night.” Ferris advised.

“Jensen, Misha and I left about fifteen minutes after that,” Jake added.

Jared continued listening, there was something off about the exchange he just heard, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He looked again at his friends and no one looked nervous or agitated, they all looked calm as though they were waiting for the person beside them to crack.

When the pieces fell into place Jared felt himself flying across the room screaming, “Motherfucker!” as he wrapped his hands around Chad‘s neck and began to squeeze.


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